Hey, I love Christmas as much as anyone, I think. Food, presents, Aunt Margie's stinky perfume from 1936, "Come give your Auntie a kiss!" Football and basketball on the tube, old Hallmark Christmas movies with Tori Spelling and Shannon Daugherty working out life's problems, and the best leftovers of the whole year. But it isn't easy, is it? There's the shopping, with the malls and grocery stores crammed full of moronic twits fighting for the slightest bargain, the heavy traffic, and the higher airfares for the travelers. And sometimes Aunt Margie's 75 year old perfume makes you want to vomit a little during that godawful forced kiss. And your cousin's kids... when did they become such brats? And the dirty looks from The Spousal Unit as you reach for that 9th beer. Well, kids, you can count on me to solve the problem. Let's have Christmas every 4 years, like the Presidential election. It will be even more magical for the little ones, only getting Christmas 3 times before going to college, it will be harder to get sick of it all, you have longer to shop, and you have time to pay off the last Christmas. Just chew on it, kids. You'll see I'm right - JOBE
Thanksgiving. Again. Don't get me wrong, I have loads to be thankful for. I'm not dead. I'm not bald. Even though I'm 55, not too much hurts over the weathered roadmap of my body. The Spousal Unit is still here. All three Kid Units returned home. That's a lot. But also, man, I'm a vegetarian. And since I am the ONLY vegetarian in the house, Thanksgiving means my home stinks like meat. For days and days. Yuck. Also two of the three Kid Units brought home strangers, and no one even asked me about it. Great. Nothing like watching football while strangers try to get to know you. Next year, I think I'll be thankful for a hotel room somewhere, some vegetarian take-out food, and a lot of quiet. Is that so bad? Oh, Lord. Now it's time for Christmas. -Jobe
Hi. I'm back from vacation on Hawaii's big island. 8 days of Pure Fun, man. I was up on mountains and down in the surf. I saw a volcano up close and personal. I ate Strange Things. I drank kava, which is the only thing I do NOT think you should try; it is rather as I would image it is to drink mudwater from a dirty puddle. A couple of points; everyone who lives on the big island wears flip-flops. They have their own name for 'em, but I can't remember it. Everyone. Cops. Doctors. The guy working the jackhammer. In flip-flops. And the place is even more laid back than Northern California. In that sense, Hawaii out-Californias California itself. I'll back on at midnight tonight. When my boss is asleep. Join me. -JOBE
Funsters, I'm off to Hawaii's big island for a break. I'll be back on-air Tuesday November 15th at Midnight, that is to say, the wee hours of Wednesday, November 15th. Until then, it's surfing, snorkeling, cookouts, volcano-visiting, and such. Cheers! - JOBE
Monday is my birthday. I'll be 55. How will I be spending it? In Hawaii, surfing, snorkeling, and looking at that darn volcano. I'll be on the Big island for 8 days. Let me be clear here; I've never surfed, snorkeled, or gotten close to an active volcano, but all 3 are on my 'bucket list' and I intend to care of business. I don't have to surf well, or for very long, and I absolutely will have a life vest on, but I don't want to go through life and say I never tried. And if I die, well, what the hell; it's better than a heart attack or a traffic accident, and I'd rather check out in Hawaii then on Business 80. - JOBE
Hungry? by James Lee Jobe,posted Oct 31 2011 2:20PM
The people who keep track of these kinds of things feel certain that the population of the earth topped 7 billion people on October 31st, 2011. As all of the political protests go on around the world I have to wonder, what about food? Shouldn't we slow down on the wars and political differences for a while and just figure out the food? Besides, after a good meal, we'll feel better and maybe not so inclined to invade one another. Maybe the whole world could sit down to a nice meal, then loosen our pants and watch Law & Order reruns on television all afternoon. -JLJ
God wants the leaves down, my wife wants them up. It's hard to please them both. Left to my own devices, I don't challenge the will of the Almighty. God puts the leaves on the driveway and the yard and I am supposed to go against that? And on a Sunday with football on? I mean, with church and all? Still, there she is, standing there holding out the rake, with an expression on her face that would turn milk into cheese. I'd better get busy. --Jobe, on a Sunday
Trouble and controversy just seems to follow Steven Tyler around. Now Tyler has slipped in the shower and hurt himself less than a week into a South American tour for Aerosmith. Why? Dehydration due to food poisoning. How bad is he hurt? He banged up his face and broke some teeth. One show was rescheduled for one night later. Deep inside myself a thought forms. Bullsh*t. Dehydrated? I bet he was high, but whatever the reason the incident just points out how this 60 year old man still needs a babysitter 24/7. --Jobe
OK, so what? The special teams unit scored more touchdowns than the offense. It's a win and I'll take it. Besides, watching the 49ers beat the Seahawks had an unusual angle to it; it was FUN. Most of the time, even a 49er win isn't all that much fun to watch. Sunday's game was Real Entertainment. Next week, the 49ers play the Cowboys, who aren't what they once were, not by a long shot. I don't want to jinx anything here, but the 49ers have a chance to start the season 2-0. Wild, man. And entertaining. By the way, while that IS indeed John Brodie in the photo, he did not play in Sunday's game. -Jobe
ON-AIR: Midnight to 5 A.M. Monday through Friday, I produce many of the commercials on The Eagle.
